Gratitude contributes to happiness, good health
It seems that it isn't until one has to be
away from the USA in one capacity or another that the veil, created by taking
for granted our many freedoms, is lifted. It is an especially abrupt
awakening if one travels to visit or work in a portion of the world where
people are oppressed or exploited or ignored.
One of my wife's cousins worked with an agricultural agency that helped to
re-establish private farms in Latvia. He fell in love with an agency
secretary who was a native of Latvia. They decided to get married, and
ended up having a ceremony there and one here. He, his wife and her mother
returned a couple weeks prior to the US wedding to be held at his family's church,
a country church near Concord (WI) not far from the family farm.
Shortly after they arrived, he drove his wife and her
mother into Watertown (WI)just to pick up groceries and some other sundries.
They ended up at the Pick N'Save store. He dropped them off and said he was
going to run to Shopko, across the parking lot, to pick up something, noting
that they should just pick up anything they would like to be eating or
snacking on, and he would return in 15 or 20 minutes to finish shopping, pay
and they'd all head back to the farm.
In about 20 minutes he returned, and the two Latvian women had only one
thing in their cart - something on the order of a dozen eggs, or a loaf of
bread. Up until this point, my wife's cousin, Matt, had told his new wife
that the supply system was very different in the USA. He hadn't so much
complained about the unpredictable staples at the stores in Latvia while he
was there, but did point out that it was very different, and that Latvia
could do better, and would do better some day.
At first the two women thought Pick N'Save was a propaganda front, and that
possibly only one of each item had been pushed to the front of the shelves.
When Matt returned to the store, expecting visitors for a celebration, and
having come from a moderately large family, he grabbed two shopping carts
and promptly started doing some "real" shopping. But the two women didn't
know what to think as he threw in four loaves of bread, 20 pounds of
potatoes, two cut-up broiler chickens, bunches of celery, bags of apples,
bags of onions, rice, cheese, crackers, breakfast cereals, beef roasts, pork
roasts and on...one can only imagine how either extravagant or vulgar this
appeared to people who had arrived from an Eastern Block country days
before.
But the kicker to this experience was when they checked out of the store.
Matt wrote a check for the food and said he would drive the car to the front
door of the store so it wouldn't be so far to wheel the groceries out. He
told them just to keep an eye out for him and the car. Shortly, he was in
the drive at the front of the store, yet the women didn't bring the
groceries out. He could see them from the car, so lightly tapped the horn
to get their attention, and they still remained in the store.
Matt pulled over, and got out of the car to see what was up, or to see if
they needed help (of course he planned to help transfer the packages anyway,
but was trying to multi-task). As it turned out, the two Latvian women
were afraid to leave with the groceries because he hadn't used currency to
pay for them, they had no idea what a check was and they were afraid the
police would arrive and arrest them for stealing these "mountains" of food.
He had to persuade them that he had paid, that is what the register tape
receipt proved, and that checks were used here frequently like cash.
So, within a matter of 48 hours after their arrival,they had been
exposed to this vast supply that we all take for granted, as well as the variety of payment options.
Even when my wife and I were in the Pacific, there was no sweeter sound than
that first skid of rubber from our plane touching down, ending a return trip
after two years away from the US.
It is unfortunate that people aren't or have trouble being grateful for what they have.
It is especially so during this time of year when it seems that the race is really toward
acquiring things in search of either happiness, peace or both.
Granted, not having enough for shelter, clothing, food, etc. is clearly an
unhappy state, but so many who have those basics plus the resources to
continue in the pursuit of happiness seem to be searching to no avail.
More and more, studies are finding that gratitude and forgiveness are very healthy states, and that being grateful for what one already has can lead to a consistent state of happiness.
I strive to be satisfied, and am thrilled with moments of happiness. But my satisfaction is less about things, than the state of things. At one time I would have liked to have perfect performances in music. And now, I would like my written work to always be perfect. But I now strive for that, still, and find ways to be satisfied with moments of perfection and find satisfaction with the moments of happiness that brings. It seems realistic, and yet doesn't let me veer from attempting or striving to that end.
Yet I don't find myself an unhappy person.
The latest studies indicate that the happiest people are those who can express gratitude to others, and can be grateful for what they have or their current station. In fact it is considered to be an attitutde which may help prolong life. It seems hard, though, just to get people to say thank you to a waitress for bringing a glass of water, let alone express thanks as an ongoing awareness of our good fortune.
It sounds like it could have been said today, but in 1774 Rousseau wrote:
"Many people find being deprived of material items more cruel than
possessing them is sweet, and are unhappy to lose them without being happy
to possess them."
# # #
08 December 2003
04 December 2003
It has occurred to me that the reason I really dislike WIsconsin winter has nothing to do with the weather...directly.
As a child I loved playing in snow, and while I had bouts with asthma, it didn't keep me from disliking the season. In fact it was adventurous, and having since lived in climes where there are no changes in seasons, it at the very least gives one something with which to look forward.
It really wasn't until my second child was in preschool and the third was an infant that the reason occurred to me. We were preparing to head out to one of her two half days at Teddy Bear Nursery School in Lake Mills (WI), and I realized on that mid-winter day that I had found five right mittens and not a single left.
The benefit of mittens is the ability to flip them over and wear them on the opposite hand, but it was at that point that the thing I really detest most about Wisconsin winters is the task of keeping track of, or otherwise finding mittens, boots hats, jackets, jacket liners.
...then after I find mine, I'd have to search for the kids' winter wear. LS
As a child I loved playing in snow, and while I had bouts with asthma, it didn't keep me from disliking the season. In fact it was adventurous, and having since lived in climes where there are no changes in seasons, it at the very least gives one something with which to look forward.
It really wasn't until my second child was in preschool and the third was an infant that the reason occurred to me. We were preparing to head out to one of her two half days at Teddy Bear Nursery School in Lake Mills (WI), and I realized on that mid-winter day that I had found five right mittens and not a single left.
The benefit of mittens is the ability to flip them over and wear them on the opposite hand, but it was at that point that the thing I really detest most about Wisconsin winters is the task of keeping track of, or otherwise finding mittens, boots hats, jackets, jacket liners.
...then after I find mine, I'd have to search for the kids' winter wear. LS
29 November 2003
To those of us who even fear being left behind as the world sleeps and we are in the "brain-race" head noise that keeps us from the peace that sleep may bring. Keats understood this...
To Sleep
O soft embalmer of the still midnight,
Shutting, with careful fingers and benign,
Our gloom-pleas'd eyes, embower'd from the light,
Enshaded in forgetfulness divine:
O soothest Sleep! if so it please thee, close
In midst of this thine hymn my willing eyes,
Or wait the "Amen," ere thy poppy throws
Around my bed its lulling charities.
Then save me, or the passed day will shine
Upon my pillow, breeding many woes,--
Save me from curious Conscience, that still lords
Its strength for darkness, burrowing like a mole;
Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards,
And seal the hushed Casket of my Soul.
-John Keats
To Sleep
O soft embalmer of the still midnight,
Shutting, with careful fingers and benign,
Our gloom-pleas'd eyes, embower'd from the light,
Enshaded in forgetfulness divine:
O soothest Sleep! if so it please thee, close
In midst of this thine hymn my willing eyes,
Or wait the "Amen," ere thy poppy throws
Around my bed its lulling charities.
Then save me, or the passed day will shine
Upon my pillow, breeding many woes,--
Save me from curious Conscience, that still lords
Its strength for darkness, burrowing like a mole;
Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards,
And seal the hushed Casket of my Soul.
-John Keats
Democracy is not always pleasant
There have been times in our history when unrest pervaded the landscape. Dumping crates of tea into Boston Harbor would probably be seen as little more than vandalism in the scope of this nation’s history of discourse. But under the circumstances, it was a rather daring and defiant (and creative) way to make a point and get the attention of those imposing a burden in the form of taxes on a minority of the people who had no voice in their government’s decision making process.
The nation formed subsequent to that demonstration was one based on laws, ideas and principles. And one of the tenets built-in as a precept within the nation’s structure was the idea that in a democracy, discourse and debate are encouraged.
But now in the 21st Century, when most Americans are relatively comfortable, debate and discourse – or even the act of questioning the status quo – is often considered a potential source of “unpleasantness.” While we see a certain amount of this in the legislature and congress, forms of government closer to home have established this artificial wall over its decision making process.
Why are we afraid to speak our minds in fear of offending individuals with opposing ideas? And to the other side, one might ask, ‘Why are you offended when it is the right and obligation of people living in a democracy to enter into debate openly?”
In fact, it has become a popular technique of people who wish not to answer “uncomfortable” questions to make it known that any type of controversy would be unpleasant, and that being unpleasant (in this context) is wrong. This syndrome allows some factions to get away with avoiding the discussion of matters that can impact an entire constituency.
Their grand premise is that “It is better to be pleasant than it is to be correct.” This is a recipe that will yield the lowest common denominator as the result of every issue.
John F. Kennedy said, “We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.”
From national actions down to local events, the best decisions for the majority historically were hammered out of molten debate. And the rules for debate are what keep individuals civil, so that the discourse and arguments are over the matter at hand, instead of time wasted hurling ad hominem commentary back and forth.
Both sides of an issue should know that they have served their constituency well, no matter the outcome, if they have entered into debate casting aside fear of the vain notion that it is unpleasant to pursue what is right.
-copyright LS 2003
There have been times in our history when unrest pervaded the landscape. Dumping crates of tea into Boston Harbor would probably be seen as little more than vandalism in the scope of this nation’s history of discourse. But under the circumstances, it was a rather daring and defiant (and creative) way to make a point and get the attention of those imposing a burden in the form of taxes on a minority of the people who had no voice in their government’s decision making process.
The nation formed subsequent to that demonstration was one based on laws, ideas and principles. And one of the tenets built-in as a precept within the nation’s structure was the idea that in a democracy, discourse and debate are encouraged.
But now in the 21st Century, when most Americans are relatively comfortable, debate and discourse – or even the act of questioning the status quo – is often considered a potential source of “unpleasantness.” While we see a certain amount of this in the legislature and congress, forms of government closer to home have established this artificial wall over its decision making process.
Why are we afraid to speak our minds in fear of offending individuals with opposing ideas? And to the other side, one might ask, ‘Why are you offended when it is the right and obligation of people living in a democracy to enter into debate openly?”
In fact, it has become a popular technique of people who wish not to answer “uncomfortable” questions to make it known that any type of controversy would be unpleasant, and that being unpleasant (in this context) is wrong. This syndrome allows some factions to get away with avoiding the discussion of matters that can impact an entire constituency.
Their grand premise is that “It is better to be pleasant than it is to be correct.” This is a recipe that will yield the lowest common denominator as the result of every issue.
John F. Kennedy said, “We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.”
From national actions down to local events, the best decisions for the majority historically were hammered out of molten debate. And the rules for debate are what keep individuals civil, so that the discourse and arguments are over the matter at hand, instead of time wasted hurling ad hominem commentary back and forth.
Both sides of an issue should know that they have served their constituency well, no matter the outcome, if they have entered into debate casting aside fear of the vain notion that it is unpleasant to pursue what is right.
-copyright LS 2003
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